MENtal illness, MENstrual cramps, MENtal breakdown, MENopause. Ever notice how all of women's problems start with men? And when we have real problems, it's HISterectomy!
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q: Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven?a: Because if they all went, it would be Hell.
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q: Why do men like smart women?a: Opposites attract.
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q: How are husbands like lawn mowers?a: They’re hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don’t work.
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q: How do men define a “50/50” relationship?a: We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle.
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q: How do you get a man to stop biting his nails?a: Make him wear shoes.
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q: How does a man show he’s planning for the future?a: He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
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q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?a: ONE .........He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him.
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q: What did God say after creating man?a: I can do so much better, so he created woman.
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q: What’s a man’s idea of honesty in a relationship?a: Telling you his real name.
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q: What’s the smartest thing a man can say?a: "My wife says...”
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q: Why did God create man before woman?a: Because you’re always supposed to have a rough draft before creating your masterpiece.
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q: Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating?a: To stop the snoring before it starts.
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q: Why do jocks play on artificial turf?a: To keep them from grazing.
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q: Why do men need instant replay on TV sports?a: Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.
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q: Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize one egg?a: Because not one will stop and ask for directions.
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q: Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men than for women?a: When it’s time to go back to his childhood, he’s already there.
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